A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
I
believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And
try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
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