The role of a labour partner

Should I have a labour partner?

There are good reasons why you're encouraged to have a birth partner and why midwives and obstetricians are encouraged to involve them in your labour and birth. You'll need someone to be with you, to empathize with you, and to help and support you during your labour.

Continuous one-to-one support can help you cope better with contractions and have a more satisfying birth experience. The right sort of support can even result in a slightly shorter labour. Labour support is powerful stuff!

What will a birth partner need to do during labour?

There are four main ways in which your birth partner can support you:

Emotional support

This could mean just being there for you, or praising, reassuring or encouraging you. Just holding you and keeping eye contact with you can be hugely comforting. This kind of emotional support can help reduce your anxiety and the level of pain that you feel.

Physical support

Breathing, relaxation techniques and massage have all been shown to help women cope with the pain of labour, and your partner can help you with these.

Physical support can also mean putting the TENS machine on you or helping you into comfortable positions that can help your labour progress. If warmth relaxes you, your partner could heat up a hot water bottle, or help you to use a birth pool, bath or shower. Or you may feel hot and like to have a cool cloth on your forehead. Making sure you have enough to drink during labour and reminding you to go to the toilet regularly are other important jobs.

Information

This could be explaining to you what's happening or suggesting something you learned at prenatal classes. He can remind you to keep moving around or that transition means you're nearly there!

Advocacy

This could mean asking for help when you need it or speaking up for you. This is particularly important in strong labour when your concentration is taken by the power of the contractions and you may be unable to speak for yourself.

Your partner may be the one to inform you if a medical procedure is suggested, such as having your waters broken, or an episiotomy. He can ask for further explanations of what will happen, if you agree to it, so that you can make an informed decision. He may also ask for time for you to think about what's being suggested, unless it's an emergency.

One of the most important things you can both do is keep an open mind, because you won't really know what you want until the day. It's important that you feel comfortable about communicating with your birth partner. You may find yourself being very short and to the point about what you need!

How can my birth partner help me if I have a caesarean?

If you’re having a caesarean section, there are many ways your birth partner can support you:

• Your birth partner can be with you in the operating theatre to talk to you and reassure you. You may be feeling anxious or nervous, so having him there will be a huge source of comfort.



• If you’re having a planned caesarean your birth partner can help you prepare in the run-up to the operation. Knowing what will be involved during and after a caesarean will give both of you confidence.



• If you have an emergency caesarean you may have already gone through hours of labour so you’re likely to be very tired. You may also be worried about the sudden change of plan. You will need emotional support from your birth partner, and he may need to help in practical ways, such as speaking on your behalf to medical staff.
  
  

  How should my birth partner prepare?

  He should understand what happens in a straightforward labour and have some idea of the interventions that may be suggested. This, and rehearsing coping strategies, can give your birth partner confidence and can reduce his anxiety levels (and yours) once labour is under way.
  
  Attending prenatal classes with you is a great way to prepare. So too, is talking through with you what you're hoping for at the birth and what you'd like to happen and not to happen. If you write a birth plan, your birth partner should be aware of its contents and how strongly you feel about different parts of it. He will also need to keep an open mind. Things can change quickly in labour, and he may have to help you make a new decision about some aspect of your care.
  
  On a very practical note, your birth partner will need food and drink during your labour. In hospital, a hot drinks machine will probably be provided on the labour ward, but it may be a long walk to the hospital canteen. It's best to prepare food and drinks to take in with you.
  

  Does my labour partner have to be my baby's father?

  Not necessarily. Since the 1970s, fathers have almost routinely attended births but they don't have to -- if your partner doesn't want to be there, talk it through and decide what's right for both of you. If your partner isn't going to be there, if he may not be able to be there, or if you want someone else there as well, you may want to enlist the services of a close friend, your sister, your mother, or a paid birth companion called a doula. If your labour partner is anyone other than your baby's father, do mention this to your doctor, nurse, or midwife.
  

  What should a birth partner not do?

  Flexibility is essential during labour and birth and it's essential that your partner is as aware of this as you are. It's important for your partner to remember that things can change quickly and that you may have to change your mind or make a new decision about some aspect of your care or treatment. So it's important that your partner doesn't cling to something you may have said before the event, not realizing that your views have now changed. He must be aware that you have the final word; although he might want to help you in making a decision, or in communicating that decision to your care-givers, your views are what count.

  What if my birth partner finds it hard-going on the day?

  Being a labour partner isn't for the faint-hearted: a first labour in particular may be many hours long. Providing emotional and physical support throughout is going to be exhausting, so your partner must look after himself, too. Talk beforehand about how and when he'll be able to take breaks, and make sure he remembers to take food and drink into hospital for himself. If the birth involves medical intervention, your partner may find it difficult to cope and may even feel guilty about what happened -- make sure he, as well as you, talks this through afterwards with the midwife and/or obstetrician.