MEN LIE… WOMEN LIE TOO

Women are so complicated! So confusing! So enigmatic! They have more layers than an onion. And men…well, poor, poor men. We are just so different! At least very different from women. Yet we are so so similar. Yes men lie… but women lie too. Sorry! If you are the kind of person living in your own world with the view that your girlfriend is the most honest person you’ll ever know. Chances if you are lucky, are she’s flirting with a guy who has got more cheese than you. If you aren’t lucky…she’s fucking him too!

Women don’t mean to be confusing. They just are. While many women strive to be honest, truthful, and forthright, they do not always tell the truth. That is the truth! Sometimes they lie. I’m not saying all women just lie… I’m saying they are very good at it too. Most of the time, though, these are little white lies, half-truths told to keep the peace. Other times, their  lies are a little bigger — say, for example, when the subject is sex.

1.”I’ve slept with [X] guys
2. “That was great.”
3. ”I have never nor would I ever cheat on you.”
4.“Sure, you can call me.”
5.“I’ll be ready in a minute.”
6.“I don’t know.
7.“That was delicious!”
8. “I’m fine.”
9. “It was on sale.”

Those are the nine basic things every woman will lie about. Either she’ll downplay the number of guys she’s slept with just to bloat your ego and make you feel like the bad boy !  Or she’ll say that sex was great although it probably felt like watching a goat crossing the street. She’ll lie about the fact that she thinks about sleeping with someone else (even though she thinks about Tom Cruise when she’s riding you just so she can get through with it )  .Also, a woman usually doesn’t want to be a heartbreaker so will just give you her number. She’ll never call you back or answer your calls hoping you’ll get the message and just fly off.  Guys when she says she’ll be ready in a minute …just go watch your favorite episode of suits ! When a woman says I don’t know. Well she does ! She just wants to spare your feelings.
Cooking for a woman is a brave thing to do. And they know… so she’ll just pat you on the shoulder with a smile and say  “that was delicious”. It probably tasted like garbage with sewage stew ! A woman saying she’s fine is the single most common lie told by women to men. Or, you know, at the very least it’s the lie they tell most often to men. They are emotional creatures! Sometimes, they get upset! Maybe it’s because their favorite character in CSI Las Vegas died as a special guest star in GRIMM , maybe it’s because they are listening to Adele’s hit “someone like you”, or maybe they are in “red town”. It’s up to you to figure out if you want to walk into their minefield or keep a safe distance away. Usually, your best bet is listening and reading body language. Asking if she’s fine will just activate the automated lying system!
Women buy stuff… and they lie about it! Deal with it!
That’s not just it guys! There’s more! A survey questioned 5,000 women, average age 38, across England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.   According to the  survey, nearly half (46%) fake orgasms and more than half (55%) claim they are tired, have a headache, or feel ill to “get out of lovemaking”. The same survey revealed a fifth of women with a long-term partner (19%) say they have cheated on him by having an affair, while 30% of all women have had an affair with a married man. Most women (68%) do not trust their partners.

One might ask, “why am I focusing only on women despite the title?”

Well. Let’s just face it …men are the most predictable beings. And we all lie ( I wonder why we do since we are open books).Truth be told, some of the fiction floating off our tongues can be quite convincing especially when we need you to believe it. Here, we’ve got  what he really means when he delivers his Oscar winning lies…

1.”I’ll call you.”

What he really means: I might call you. Don’t wait up

2.“I won’t show the tape to anyone.”

What he really means: I won’t show it to everyone, just my best friends.

3.“I don’t want to have sex with you, I just want to lie here with you.”

What he really means: I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to have sex with you, but I’ll lie here if it means there’s a chance it might lead to sex.

4.“That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

What he really means: That was good sex. Maybe. Next time would be better(I hope there’s a next time)

5.“I’m not married/ Don’t have a girlfriend”

What he really means: I’m not committed to my wife/girlfriend .

6.“It’s not you, it’s me.”

What he really means: It’s totally you, I just can’t tell you that.

7.“I’ve never told anyone this before.”

What he really means: I’ve never told you this before.

8.“No, I never dated her.”

What he really means: I hooked up with her, I just can’t tell you because you will freak out

There you have it ! But of course you already knew those !I’ll bet no one is really surprised anyway. That’s simply because men have been lying since the beginning of time. Women on the other hand just caught the fever! The notion out there is that women are almost always brutally honest and have lesser tendencies to lie. That’s just my problem . From the little lies to the big ones ….a lie is a lie !
Ah, Wait! There’s a twist to the tale. WOMEN LIE MOST TO EACH OTHER! Yes I said it. Most women will deliberately lie just to keep up an appearance ! Women have a magnetic attraction to attention. And they do whatever it takes to get it. And that includes lying to other women about the price of her new purse (or any other thing she wears), Secondly, women will make a false assessment of a situation just to save a relationship. “I love you hairdo” and “that guy doesn’t deserve you” are top on that list!
So there you have it! A quick review on common lies both men and women tell. Have fun being a human lie detector!